


when defeat comes, accept it

by kissfortae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Huang Ren Jun is Whipped, Jeno is just a mediator, M/M, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Poly, hyuck is a dumbass, jeno is protective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25946644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissfortae/pseuds/kissfortae
Summary: even though he was terrible, renjun would draw the different things in life he loved. one of them being his boyfriend, one of them being his boyfriends best friends, and another one being the four of them together on cute dates in paris, falling in love under the summer sun.(or the one where renjun just loves a lot and donghyuck doesn't know what to do when he finds pictures of other boys in his boyfriends sketchbook)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. of monopoly games and bad cake

renjun walked into the shared apartment between him and donghyuck and kicked off his shoes in the doorway. "you're home early!" donghyuck peaked his head out of the kitchen and into the hallway with a smile on his lips. renjun nodded and walked around the corner to find jaemin sitting on his kitchen table and sitting on a stool right next to him. "oh hi, i didn't realize you guys were coming over." jaemin smiled and waved and jeno just looked down and played with his thumbs. he never understood why jeno was always shy around him considering he's heard the other screaming over a game before. "yeah i invited them over cause i got lonely while you were at work. hope that's okay!" hyuck said while sticking his head in the fridge. 

renjun nodded and grimaced when he saw jaemins socked feet sitting on the table, but he ignored it in favor of changing out of his work clothes and into a pair of sweats. he figured part of the reason jeno seemed shy around him was because he was the only one of them that had a good paying joband was always dressed up like some middle aged white man. while jaemin was still in college, going for his doctorate in psyh, jeno worked as a part time waiter and writer on the side. donghyuck didn't have to work, being the spoiled brat that he was, he had always just depended on renjun. not that renjun was rich per say, but he could afford enough working as a lawyer and he liked to think that while donghyuck took care of him in many ways, this was the one way he could take care of hyuck. 

when he came back out hyuck had disappeared and so had jaemin, but jeno was sitting in the same spot eating ramen. "they left to go bug your neighbor and see if she had any eggs they could use. hyuck wants to try baking a cake for the first time by scratch. sorry we're probably gonna leave your kitchen messy, i know you hate that." jeno explained but renjun just shrugged and sat down opposite of him. "wouldn't be the first time and definitely won't be the last. the joke is on him though because jaemin actually does know how to cook so this probably won't be as messy as he hopes." jeno laughed. they sat in a comfortable silence for a couple minutes waiting for the two idiots to get back while jeno ate. 

"hey uhm, you're not uncomfortable with me right? just cause sometimes you seem-" "yo we're back and we have eggs and a recipe that we're not gonna use! can you believe that she told me to be careful and keep the noise down?" hyuck yelled as he barged back in with a bag. all three of them answered 'yes' together and he pouted but continued to the kitchen. he looked back over at jeno and caught the boy already looking at him. "i'm not by the way. you're amazing for hyuck and me and nana really thank you for that and for just being here for him. i hope we can all be friends." jeno said sweetly but renjun could tell something was fake about the way he smiled. jeno had one of the most beautiful smiles you've ever seen so the fact that it didn't leave renjun flustered like it does every other time, was concerning. 

renjun nodded and put on a smile of his own before excusing himself to his room and wishing them luck with the cake. he fell down into his desk chair and pouted at his own reflection in the mirror above the desk. he new why jeno seemed fake, he didn't truly want to be friends with renjun, why would he? renjun genuinely looked like he never has fun, bored face that was always frowning. he wished he could fit in better with the three of them but he never wanted to intrude. donghyuck had been friends with them since they were in diapers and he had only appeared in his life a couple years back. their bond in the beginning was a little concerning to renjun as it was obvious to everyone but hyuck that jaemin was head over heels for his two best friends. he could tell by the way jaemin took years to warm up to him as donghyucks boyfriend and by the way he would insert himself into anything the other two did. he never really knew where jeno stood but he assumed that he felt pretty similar to jaemin just by the puppy eyes he would give hyuck everytime he thought they weren't looking. 

he remembered the times he used to get jealous and insecure when they would come over and occupy donghyuck's whole world, but things changed quickly as he got to know both boys. they weren't anything but innocent and loving. jeno being shy and cautious but sweet and caring, breaking up every fight that jaemin and hyuck got into. he loved cats and small things renjun learned, including donghyuck. while jaemin was loud and open but funny and smart, jaemin was very perceptive and could always tell whenever someone wasn't feeling okay. he drank way too much coffee and had a thing for stealing other peoples socks, weird but it was cute. and while renjun discovered all these different things about his boyfriends best friends, he fell in love with them both. 

it wasn't hard falling for jaemin, he was prettier than a sunset and made everyone around him happy with just his presence alone. when he first realized he fell in love with the youngest boy was when jaemin walked out of the guest room wearing donghyuck's socks, jeno's hoodie, and renjun's sweatpants. he looked like a masterpiece to renjun, and he was absolutely whipped. it took months of guilt eating him alive before he realized that he was also in love with jeno. he couldn't think of jaemin without jeno or vice versa. and thinking about jeno was dangerous because jeno himself was dangerous. he was gorgeous in more ways than one and he could spend hours thinking about the tall boy. but all those thoughts made renjun feel guiltier, like he was emotionally cheating on donghyuck with his two best friends. after many talks from his best friend chenle and late night google searches, he came to a conclusion. He was not doing anything wrong per say and that he should never tell donghyuck. 

telling donghyuck would wreck havoc on their already unperfect relationship. it wasn't unperfect in a bad way, just dysfunctional. they would fight more than half the time and when they weren't fighting they were probably making out. it was hectic but he loved it and wouldn't change it for the world. when he first met donghyuck it was because the other was interviewing to be renjuns new roommate. he hadn't thought much about the boy until he told him that he had no job and never planned on getting one. 'i'll pay rent by making you food and being your friend' he responded when renjun asked about his income. he almost said no and told the boy to get lost right then and there but something about the way he smiled and rocked on the chair made renjun want to give him a chance. they lived together for one month before renjun just couldn't stand seeing him walk around in skinny ripped jeans any longer and caved, asking him out on a date. he wouldn't take back anything that happened because he loved hyuck. he made living easy for renjun, holding his hand during scary movies or storms, making sure he ate three meals a day, and taking him out instead of just staying inside the whole time. renjun loved hyuck the most in the world because even though they had the most unperfect relationship, he was renjun's rock. 

he pulled his sketchbook out from the drawer of his desk and opened it up to his most recent drawing. he wasn't good, at all, but hyuck taught him that you don't have to be good at something to enjoy it. and he really loved drawing the things he loved. he looked down at the drawing of two boys kissing while a movie played on a big screen in the background. it was a dream he had about jeno that he decided to draw for shits and giggles. you could barely tell one was renjun, but the other boy didn't look anything like jeno. he sighed and coloured in jeno's hair with a light shade of brown. it didn't look anything like jeno but his smile, he thought, was pretty damn close. smiling into the kiss was something renjun imagined was a jeno thing to do and so he decided to draw it. he smiled at the drawing before closing the sketchbook as he heard someone walking down the hall. 

donghyuck opened the door and yawned, "come on out if you're not doing anything important, we're done baking and while we wait for it to bake we were gonna play monopoly but i need you to help me cheat so i can kick jaemin's ass. if he wins again i have to treat him for a month to those stupid hotdog stands set up around his school and i swear to god if i have to watch him eat one more hot dog-" "i'll be right out to play but i'm not helping you cheat because if we get caught and have to deal with jaemin's wrath i think i'll wet my pants." he heard jeno laugh from the living room and a faint 'i heard that you shithead, watch your back renjun'. 

donghyuck smirked and nodded, leaving their room and running down the hall. he rolled his eyes as he heard a loud thud and a whine. taking one last look at the sketchbook in his drawer he got up to join the other boys and beat them all at monopoly. he didn't have to cheat like donghyuck or threaten like jaemin, all he had to do was be smarter than the two of them combined and team up with jeno and he was guaranteed a win. they saved him a spot between jaemin and donghyuck and he plopped himself down, kissing his boyfriends cheek and grabbing the book he plays with every time, starting the game.


	2. of fuzzy socks and running away from your problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> super best friends jaemin and jeno to the rescue

donghyuck busied himself with doing his laundry while renjun got in the shower. he fought with him about taking a shower right at that very moment when they could be doing more important things that would involve showering after but he quickly dropped it when he could tell renjun wasn't in the mood. he noticed how exhausted he would get every time jaemin and jeno came over so he always tried to be more understanding at the end of the day and not start stupid pointless fights. 

he remembered the first time jaemin and jeno experienced one of their fights, and ended up thinking donghyuck was in some kind of toxic relationship because of it. it was bad enough that jaemin already hated renjun for unknown reasons but after watching them yell about laundry at each other, jaemin was completely against donghyuck's new relationship. eventually he warmed up to renjun though and donghyuck was thankful for that. he knew his friends could be overprotective but that was just how he and renjun worked and they both liked it that way. 

he also knew that renjun really tried and he loved him for that. he was always trying to be friends with jaemin and jeno and constantly trying to make them feel at home but it still stressed him out. they were extreme, and loud, and very clingy, and renjun was quiet and mature, and very closed off. he honestly had no idea why renjun asked him out in the first place, he was a certified mess and still is. one thing he discovered renjun doing a lot when jaemin and jeno were over though was drawing. it was like a calming stress relief, and even though all his drawings were absolute shit, he loved that renjun found something aside from banging his head into a wall to occupy his time when donghyuck's best friends came over. 

renjun had a tendency to draw things he loved donghyuck noticed. it started with silly little doodles of their pet fish 'fish stick', then onto the sun to symbolize donghyuck, (he did not blush when he saw that), but then he actually started to draw people. his best friend chenle, himself, and then donghyuck. you could never tell from the faces who they were but renjun always left some kind of obvious clue. whenever he would draw donghyuck he would put a little sunflower at the bottom of the page, and whenever he would draw the two of them together he would put a moon at the top of the paper and a sun at the bottom. if donghyuck squealed the first time he saw a picture of the two of them together, he would never admit it. it was so obvious that renjun loved him with his whole heart and donghyuck felt very content at the thought of growing old with renjun as his art just gets worse and worse.

he stopped doing his laundry to get up and check renjun's sketchbook to see if he drew anything new. he hadn't checked in a couple months and wanted to see the new drawings of them together. renjun didn't know that donghyuck knew about his sketchbook so he would usually check once a month and just pretend like he didn't see the drawing of himself when he was asleep and renjun got home late from work. 

he flipped open the book from where he found it tucked away nicely in his desk drawer and opened the last finished drawing. the drawing looked like a whole new concept that renjun was doing. it was of the two of them in a movie theater, kissing. it was very pretty and donghyuck smiled at the thought of asking renjun if he wanted to go to the movies tomorrow but then he frowned. he couldn't find the sun or the moon anywhere on the paper, instead a small cat silhouette sat at the top of the page. donghyuck flipped back a couple pages to another drawing and the same cat drawing appeared on the picture of three boys, this one also had a little bee and a moon on it. as donghyuck kept looking at the other pictures he grew increasingly worried, there were some pictures with the sun or the sunflower on them but most of them had the other two symbols. 

he heard the shower turn off and he closed the book quickly and hid it in his sock drawer. he didn't know exactly what any of the pictures meant but he had a pretty good idea and needed to talk to jaemin and jeno about it. he waited for renjun to leave the bathroom and chewed on the sleeve of his hoodie in the process. when renjun walked out and looked at him he rolled his eyes, "stop chewing on that or else i'm gonna have to pay for a new hoodie for jeno." donghyuck stopped and looked down, realizing he was wearing jeno's hoodie. "sorry, didn't realize." he replied and continued staring at his boyfriend of three years. 

renjun gave him a puzzled look, "what the fuck happened to you? did fish stick die? are you okay?" he asked worriedly as he walked over to the other placing a hand on his cheek. donghyuck nodded and sniffed. "oh my god are you crying? you only ever cry over dog commercials, and you didn't fight back? what happened, seriously." donghyuck wrapped his arms around renjun's waist hugging him tightly. "can you just hold me for a little bit, i'm going over jaemin's tonight and i'll miss you." he huffed out the first lie he could think of, knowing it sounded stupid, but he also knew renjun wouldn't question him and let him come to the other when he was ready. "yeah, i can do that. why didn't you just head back with jaemin if you were gonna sleep over his house?" donghyuck shrugged and continued hugging the other. 

"well i love you and i know that you will tell me soon what's wrong so imma let you go. go have fun at jaemins and make sure to bring me back cookies that you two bake." donghyuck smiled at the fact that he knew them both so well and grabbed his bag to fill with clothes. "uh i know you're a little upset but aren't you going over jaemin's? you have a drawer full of clothes at his house and even if you didn't he steals so much clothes from us that you're bound have at least two full outfits." renjun laughed at the other. "oh yeah, sorry. hey can you gimme like a second to myself?" renjun nodded and walked out of the room. he grabbed the book and pair of fuzzy socks for jaemin, stuffing it into his bag and then rushing out the door, grabbing his phone along the way. he heard the other yell bye but he was too focused on calling jeno and telling him to meet him at jaemin's house for a boys night and that he had no choice. 

-

"wait so, let me get this straight. you think that he might be what? emotionally cheating on you? with two other boys? and that he loves you less because he fell in love with two others?" jaemin asked cautiously. donghyuck nodded hugging his knees to his chest. "he's scary but i think i could take him. and nana is really good with criminology cause he took that course last year! he could hide the body perfectly and it would be like renjun never existed." both boys mouths dropped at jeno's comment. "we're not killing anyone jeno! that's a last resort! right now we need to figure out exactly what's going on with renjun. i honestly don't believe he doesn't love you anymore or loves you less, that's not possible. let me see the drawings again." 

donghyuck handed him the book and got up to sit in jeno's lap, watching as jaemin narrowed in on something specific. "i think i might have an idea and mind you it could be totally wrong but if it's what i think it is then this goes a lot deeper than him just being in love with two other boys. tomorrow, you and me jeno, we're gonna investigate. follow him around, search around their apartment, maybe even find his two other friends, okay?" jeno nodded and began playing with hyuck's hair. "we will get to the bottom of this and help you okay?" it was hyucks turn to nod this time but instead he just shut his eyes and curled further into jeno's lap, wanting to sleep everything off more than anything. 

"lay him down and let him sleep, i wanna talk to you about this upstairs." jaemin whispered to jeno. taking one last look at the picture he had open he frowned. the boy in the picture had the prettiest smile that jaemin had ever seen but he definitely recognized it and he wished that he didn't. but this wasn't something that jeno or donghyuck needed to know, cause if it was true, he figured it was best to talk to renjun about it first himself. he sighed, getting up and watching jeno tuck donghyuck in carefully, a cute blush on both of their cheeks from the coldness of the room and he shook his head, "how it should have been, just with one more person with us."


	3. of drank coffee and confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin is the only smart one

going to their apartment without hyuck was weird, but it was even weirder having renjun answer the door without hyuck. without even waiting for renjun to speak, he pushed past him and into the hall, heading straight for the kitchen. he opened the fridge, looking for the coffee he left last week, "uhm where the fuck is my coffee?" renjun finally spoke, looking at him weirdly. "hyuck drank one sip and then spit it back into the cup so i threw it out." jaemin sighed and ran a hand through his hair in thought before turning around to meet renjun's eyes. "first of all if you're gonna get to know me, you should know to never ever drink my coffee, hyuck is the only exception. second, i couldn't care less if he spit in it, don't throw out my coffee. and third renjun, i don't like seeing my friends hurt. so i really don't like seeing hyuck pout, afraid that you might be cheating on him."

renjun's jaw dropped and he shook him head, waving his hand around. "no no, i would never! why would he think that? i'm serious jaemin, like i wouldn't ever do that!" he laughed and smiled at the other boy. "i know that dumbass. but i wouldn't if it weren't for you getting jeno's pretty eye smile exactly right. by the way, if you're gonna fall in love with your boyfriends best friends and draw them, at least pick a better hiding spot then your desk drawer to store them. you're lucky hyuck is as dumb as jeno." he finished, smirking as he watched what looked like 12 different emotions appear on renjun's face. 

"he stole my sketchbook? what the fuck? that was private-" "shut it yippy, you have no right to be mad, you're dating him, you know hyuck is a big snoop." renjun bit his lip and looked everywhere but at jaemin. he started pacing across the room while chewing on his lip and shaking his head. "god this is all so fucked up. that was never supposed to be seen by hyuck or anyone except me! god and now he knows and oh my god, does he know that its you and jeno?" he stopped to look at jaemin while asking the last question. jaemin shook his head and continued watching the other boy pace. 

"renjun? i'm really flattered and all." renjun looked down, waiting for the rejection he never thought would come. "and i understand how you feel 100%, but i think you should just be honest with him. if i would've been honest with jeno and hyuck ten years ago, he wouldn't have met you and i'd probably be with the two people i love with my whole heart. but i wasn't, and now my best friend is happy and in love with the guy that over the last couple years i've also fallen in love with. and it sucks sometimes because the three people i want the most are all close to me and yet so damn far away. i know what you're thinking, but you won't lose hyuck. he's more open than you think he is and yeah he can be a little bitch sometimes but i don't think he will be mad, maybe just a little upset." 

"what won't i be mad about, and just a little upset?" hyuck asked, hearing the last line in jaemin's rant as he walked into his apartment with a trailing jeno. he looked between jaemin and renjun a couple times before sighing and roiling his eyes. jaemin looked at renjun hopefully but renjun wasn't looking at anything in particular. the silence trailed on for a couple seconds before jeno broke it with an awkward chuckle. "me and jaemin should leave, but we're only one call away if you need us hyuckie." jeno then nodded at jaemin and the both of them left the two alone. 

-

"do i know them? is it chenle and jisung? are you breaking up with me? do you just not love me or want me anymore?" hyuck asked staring straight into renjun's eyes with a small frown spreading across his face. "that's not it hyuck and you know it. i love you and i love being with you, and no i'm not in love with my best friend's, i'm in love with yours." he said reaching out and holding his boyfriends hands. hyuck pulled away from him slowly and grimaced. "you're in love with my best friend's? are they in love with you too?" renjun shook his head anxiously. "no, no. they aren't! and jaemin knows but he was just here to scold me. hyuck i am so damn sorry. i literally can't even begin to apologize correctly because i know what i've done is so fucked up but please believe me when i say that you mean the world to me always and i never wanted you to hurt. i understand if you need time away but please just don't leave. i can stay far away from jaemin and jeno forever if you want."

donghyuck shook his head and let a tear fall down his face, "i don't even know how to feel right now. i'm just so, surprised, upset, and in awe. i understand though. have i ever told you stories about when i was in high school?" he chuckled to himself through his tears, "i remember asking someone out and they rejected me with the reason being "jaemin" and i never really understood why every single guy i liked seemed to like jaemin instead of me but i get it now. he's fucking jaemin. but you can't love jaemin without loving jeno, or the opposite way around. their just so powerful and full of love and kindness, so i get it, i really do. it just sucks. you were the first boy to ever really take an interest in me without being afraid of jaemin or in love with my best friends but i guess that that wasn't true either. jaemin was right though, i'm not mad, just upset, not at you though, more at myself for feeling like i was never enough." 

"donghyuck look at me. i can guarantee you right now that those people that rejected you because of jaemin or jeno, weren't in love with them, they were probably just afraid of the boy with two scary protector best friends. and i know that you can be dumb but you can't possibly be this dumb. you have to know how jaemin and jeno feel about you." donghyuck shook his head and wiped the tears falling down his cheek. renjun sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day and pulled the younger boy into a hug. "gosh you really are oblivious. hyuck i love you so much and i'm gonna do everything i can to make things right again, but i can't do that if you don't know everything." he pulled away and cupped his cheek. "let's spend a little time together, just you and me, but then you're talking to jeno and then jaemin and then me and then all of us together. things have gone on like this for way too long." donghyuck nodded, leaning into his boyfriend and closing his eyes. "that sounds okay." 

renjun shut his eyes as well and relaxed. he knew things would be awkward for awhile but he was almost pretty convinced that he could make things okay again. he didn't exactly know what he had to do but he did know that making donghyuck realize that he saw his best friends in a different way than platonic was gonna be hard, talking to jeno was gonna be hard, and getting to the bottom of what jaemin was talking about was gonna be the hardest. all he knew was that no matter what he loved hyuck and that no matter what, he would make things okay between the four of them, and hopefully if everything went okay, even more than okay.


	4. of tiktoks and missed phone calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyuck being stupid IS a personality trait

hyuck hit decline for what he felt like was the 2000th time that day, when jeno called. call him hypocritical, but he couldn't look at jeno or jaemin without being reminded of the fact that his boyfriend likes the two of them. coincidentally, he just wanted to spend some time with renjun, making the other call off work and just stay in with him. they were snuggled up on the couch, watching tiktok's off renjuns phone. "you can't ignore them forever. they did nothing and you're being an ass right now. especially to jeno. i'm the one that fucked up and jeno knows nothing except the fact that his best friend is upset and ignoring him. just call him back okay?" 

donghyuck nodded and swiped down on renjun's phone, ignoring the other. renjun sighed and pushed him off of himself lightly, closing his phone. he heard a whine from the other boy and rolled his eyes, stretching and turning to face him. "how long have you known jeno?" donghyuck contemplated his answer before gulping and answering, "like 20 years or something." "no not 'or something' you've known him for 20 years. and what about jaemin?" donghyuck threw his head back on the couch and groaned, "i dunno, like 15?" 

"exactly! and you and i both know for a fact that they love you so much! stop ignoring them because of something i did!" renjun tried to knock some sense into his younger boyfriend but the other just pouted and put space in between the two of them. "you only want me to call them so you can fawn over their pretty voices and see them when they come over." he was exasperated and he sighed loudly through his nose. "i have no right to be mad you said that cause fuck yeah i deserved that but my god hyuck, i've told you this once and i'll keep saying it, it's you. it always was and always will be, yes okay i fucked up, i'm an emotional cheater and i cannot believe you're still with me because if i were you i would hate me! but my god i love you and i'm very thankful that you're giving me a chance. i don't want you to talk to them for my sake but for yours, because no offense but without jeno, you are the most dramatic emotional person ever. and while it's cute sometimes, you're gonna make me cry if you keep up this upset poutiness." 

he saw a small smile slide on his face and he let out a breath of relief, "call them or i will, and that will probably be both awkward and confusing." he said as he handed his phone over to him. 

\- 

as soon as renjun left the room, hyuck threw his phone onto the couch and turned on the tv. it's not that he didn't want to call them, it's just that he didn't know what to say, how to apologize, ways to explain. he knew that as soon as he talked to them, things would get even more awkward and complicated and he'd actually have to work out his problems instead of just running away from them until they went away. donghyuck was terrible at three things, commitment, confrontations, and staying during tough times. all three of those things he usually had jeno and jaemin to talk him through and help him get over it, but this time it involved the both of them and renjun. he knew he was probably gonna end up alone, so he didn't call them.

he was about to turn on greys anatomy when the doorbell rang so he got up to get it, yelling to renjun. as soon as he opened the door he was engulfed in a hug that he gladly accepted because who was he to turn down free hugs. he could be hugging a psychopath that was trying to strangle him but for some reason he just knew who it was and melted into the other pair of arms. when jeno pulled away he saw tears in the other boys eyes and he frowned, pulling him inside instead of out on the hallway and wiping away at his eyes. "silly goose, why are you crying?" 

donghyuck could tell that something was wrong. jeno usually always took good care of himself and wasn't one to cry or let himself go, but the boy smelled like he hadn't showered in days, his hair was a complete ruffled mess, and he was wearing the same hoodie he usually slept in. "everything duckie! me and jaemin were so worried that you did something stupid like run away again or that you didn't wanna be our friend anymore. so we tried calling but you didn't pick up and it's been a week without contact from you and after what happened last time i got extremely worried and stressed. but jaem kept telling me i shouldn't be and that you'll be fine and that you were just being a brat, so i got mad at him and we got in a fight hyuck, me and nana! we never fight! and we both started yelling and then he broke down and i broke down and then.. fuck i'm so glad you're okay." he finished in a whisper and hugged him again. 

"jen, what happened after that. you said 'then', then what?" jeno tensed up and clinged harder onto the shorter boy. "he uhm, confessed. and i ran out. i came straight here." hyuck froze and shifted in the other boys hold. "wow okay. that's a lot of information to process and go over. why don't you sit down and i'll make us some coffee and then we''ll talk about everything. does that sound okay?" jeno nodded, sniffling a little bit. "that means you have to let go of me, okay?" jeno nodded again and pulled off slowly but surely, staring into hyuck's eyes. he chuckled awkwardly and turned around, guiding jeno into the kitchen. 

the whole time he made coffee, he felt eyes pouring into his back and he kept messing up and spilling things here and there because of it. "okay i'm done!" he announced loudly into the silence, bringing two cups of coffee over to the table, along with cream and sugar. jeno grabbed his cup and took a sip, "god, fuck, i forgot how terribly you make coffee." he said with a grunt and a look of disgust pulled on his face. "i resent that! renjun drinks it and never complains!" he argued back, taking a sip. "well he's whipped cause i don't know how he puts up with it all the time. gimme some sugar, maybe it'll help." 

"so speaking of renjun, where is he?" hyuck shrugged, "he probably heard you and your loud ass crying, and decided to stay in his room." jeno looked betrayed and hyuck giggled at that, reaching his hand across the table to ruffle his hair. he always though jeno looked the cutest when he was teasing him. to a lot of people, jeno was either shy or scary and so he didn't get approached by many people, but donghyuck knew that he was really just a big goofball. he liked dancing, writing, biking, and playing overwatch at ungodly hours of the night during his free time. all in all, just a big dork. and even though jaemin and himself were the biggest into skinship and cuddles, occasionally jeno could be super clingy and soft to the other two. 

"hyuck?" jeno called out as he waved his hand in front of his face. "you were spacing out while like creepily staring into my soul. are you okay?" hyuck nodded, blushing and lifting his cup to his face to hide behind it secretly. "so uhm, what would you like to start with?" he asked skeptically. jeno looked down at his feet while speaking, "uhm, why have you been ignoring us?" 

"i'm scared. you know me and problems, i don't wanna deal with them unless i have my two best friends to help me get through them. but yanno, this time you guys are involved in this bog massive mess and i'm freaking out. i feel like my life is slowly going to hell. my boyfriend likes me two best friends, correction, loves my two best friends. legit how am i supposed to just talk about that? im fucking freaking out." jeno nodded and bit his lip. "i'm sorry by the way. i didn't mean to ruin something so amazing for you." he said as he bowed his head. 

"no jeno, it's not you! you didn't ruin anything. neither did jaemin and neither did renjun. i understand why he fell in love with you two. i fucking get it, trust me. i just wish that i didn't have to be involved. like can't the three of you decide what you wanna do and let me know?" he joked half heartedly. "i wasn't ignoring you because of his feelings or my feelings or emotions. i just don't know how to deal with this." jeno nodded again in understanding. 

"i understand that. i'm sorry for calling like 2000 times. i know you probably needed some alone time with renjun, i was just worried you were gonna do what you did when we were younger and we found out jaemin was going to therapy for depression. i remember hearing from your parents that you ran away. me and jaemin looked everywhere for you until we found you at the little ice cream parlour behind our old high school. i didn't understand at the time why you did that when he was okay but now i get it. you hide from your own problems because you're afraid that they might effect others around you, but when it's people that you love, it's different. you don't just hide, you run. not because you don't wanna get involved, but because you don't want them to watch you break yourself as you care and do everything you can to help them. for months after we found out, you did nothing but go out of your way for jaemin. paying for his food, letting him steal your socks and not getting mad about it. you did all these little things for him, while hiding away from us, all because you cared. i remember finally seeing jaemin truly just himself again when you came back to us fully. and for this past week i was afraid that you ran off somewhere, hoping that jaemin and me would talk to renjun and everything between us would be perfect and hoping you wouldn't get in the way. but hyuck you're never in the way. you're like our center of gravity, pulling us all together. so thank you for not running away, because life without knowing if you're okay, is complete and utter hell." 

he was speechless. he stared at jeno for what felt like hours in shock. for a boy who stays quiet about so much and posses as a friendly face and gentle mediator, he knew more than he let on. "wow. uhm, wow. let's talk about that fight that you and jaem got into." he stuttered out. jeno grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, frowning. "yeah, let's." 

"you know how he gets sometimes. when he's upset, he tries to play it off like he's okay, when deep down it's hurting him. and i pointed that out to him but apparently it just made him even more upset. he started going off about how you do this all the time and that you were just being a brat and shit like that and it pissed me off. we both knew what he was saying had no actual value but it's like we were too deep into our feelings to even care. i yelled at him for being a dick and told him that this is why you chose to live with your boyfriend instead of with either me or jaemin, like we offered in the past. hyuck, i don't think i've ever seen jaemin actually break down but when i told him that i thought you loved renjun more than us, it looked like his whole world just fell apart. and i know it's not true, we've been your best friends since childhood and i know that you love us the most in the world, but i was just so angry. i started bringing up not only his insecurities, but mine. i instantly regretted it and i went over and let him cry in my arms. he just sobbed for like an hour, and when he finally stopped, he just looked at me and kissed me. and i didn't know what to do so i just stayed still."

"he told me that he was in love with me and with you and i just panicked and ran out. i'm so scared, i know i fucked up, i should've stayed and talked to him." jeno had tears in his eyes again and donghyuck got up to sit right next to him and hold him. "did you know that he felt this way?" he asked. jeno shook his head and pouted. "i mean it makes sense the more i think about it but at the time i had no idea." donghyuck kept quiet for a few seconds before speaking up again. "how do you feel about him?" 

jeno laughed, loudly. "hyuck i'm pretty sure it's the most obvious thing in the world." he gave the older a confused look. "you really are fucking oblivious." jeno leaned in really closely to his face, their noses touching. "you seem to be the only person in the world that can't tell that i'm absolutely crazy about not only jaemin, but also you." hyuck could only focus on the others lips as jeno spoke to him closely. he thought he heard a tiny 'fuck it' before a pair of lips were pressed against his hard. he was way too dazed with the way jeno wrapped his arms around his waist to notice that renjun had appeared and was clearing his throat. jeno pulled away and hyuck chased his lips, resulting in a smiling jeno, resting his hand on the boys cheek. another cough was heard, this time louder and donghyuck pulled himself out of jeno's arms, turning to look at his boyfriend. 

renjun looked confused but has a small smirk on his face as he looked between the two of them. "oh my go- oh wow look at that! i have to go feed the seven cats i'm allergic to! nice to see you again renjun! bye!" jeno rushed out as he scrambled to make his way out of the apartment. "you have an interesting way of talking i hope you know that. i thought you only did that with me when you want to get out of something." renjun joked. renjun pulled his hands away from his face and lifted his head. "is he a good kisser?" he teased again and hyuck whined, hiding his face behind his hands agaim as renjun laughed.


	5. of explanations and decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally all talk together

"hyuck stop being ridiculous, they've been here a million times before." renjun called to the boy that was currently cleaning all the dishes in the sink. renjun thought it might be an anxiety thing that he didn't know about until now, and he makes a mental note to ask about it later. "i'm not being ridiculous! i'm being clean, in fact, these are your dishes, you should clean them!" renjun sighed to himself, rubbing his temple, before getting up and walking over the the kitchen. he draped his body over the other boy and kissed his cheek. " i will, but later. c'mon, their gonna be here any minute." 

renjun lead him into the living room, patting the spot on the couch next to him and donghyuck sat down. "i'm really nervous renjun. i know you have all these good positive thoughts but i don't like anything you're proposing. and i'm scared that this will just result in awkwardness and time apart." he picked at his nails while talking and renjun grabbed his hands. "you don't have to believe me, but when i say everything is gonna be fine, i mean it. because no matter what, those two won't ever leave your side and nether will i. if they want to be with you then that's amazing an you get three very lucky boyfriends. if they want to stay friends than that's good too, because you still have them." donghyuck shook his head, "no! i told you i don't want that. it's all together or none at all." renjun frowned and bit his lip, "don't give me unrealistic expectations of things i want just because you feel bad." 

the doorbell rang and donghyuck got up to get it, leaving a pouting renjun. he brought jaemin and jeno into the living room and sat back down next to renjun. jaemin sat across from them while jeno sat down on the floor in front of jaemin. "hi" jaemin was the first to speak, showing a small smile to everyone. they sat in silence for what felt like an hour to renjun when jaemin rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "i just think that in all fairness i should get to kiss hyuck first before all of this goes down, since jeno got to do it." renjun snorted and jeno held in a laugh. "no! we should probably start talking, yeah." donghyuck shouted. jaemin frowned which made hyuck pout, "not that i don't want you to- wait that's not what i meant. okay wait let me start over, i just meant that we should talk, oh my god i'm gonna stop talking now can someone else please start?" jaemin smirked at his awkward rant and looked at jeno happily. 

"well since everyone else in this room is an absolute pussy, i'll start." renjun sat up. "as everyone in this room knows, this all started when hyuck decided to be a little sneaky thief and steal my most private drawings to show to the both of you. and jaemin being the only one with a braincell between the three of you, figured out who the drawings were of. now i just want to say for the record, i love you hyuck, with all my heart and that won't ever change and shit yeah i should've told you earlier but i didn't cause i was scared. so i'm sorry, but i'm in love with the three of you, all together or separated. so i'm just gonna say that because it needed to be said. what you guys want or do is all up to the three of you and i will respect any decision you guys make." he finished with a huff.

"well i can't speak for hyuck or jeno, but i know for a fact that i've been in love with jeno and hyuck since middle school and i fell in love with you about a month after i met you." renjun stilled, eyes widening, "really?" he asked gently. jaemin nodded, staring straight into his eyes. jaemin broke the eye contact with a small blush resting on his cheeks and turned to look at jeno. jeno looked up at jaemin and bit his lip, chewing on it softly. "uhm, i'm kinda really new to this but i uh feel the same as jaemin kind of. i mean i really love donghyuck and jaemin, and uhm i didn't realize until a little while ago that i mayhaps love you as well renjun." 

renjun broke out into a huge smile before collecting himself and looking at donghyuck with expectant eyes. "i'm still figuring it out" he whispered. "i've never thought about you two as anything except platonic and i realize that i have been lying to myself and that there definitely is feelings there, but i don't exactly know what they are or how strong they are. i'm sorry." renjun reached out and placed his hand on the youngers knee, patting it. "you don't need to figure it out right now hyuck, all three of us would gladly wait until you figure yourself out." he shook his head, his frown deepening, "i don't want to hold you guys back from being with each other and i know how long jaemin and jeno have been waiting and i wish i just knew." 

jeno scooted closer to him, resting his chin on the boys knee. "we would wait for you forever hyuck, just knowing that you ever saw us like that is enough for me. and i'm sure that we can figure this out without making you decide now. like maybe me, jaemin, and renjun can go on a date to get to know each other better." jeno smiled his signature smile at him and he melted, nodding his head. "i'm really sorry guys." they all shook their heads and jaemin smiled, "we could never be mad at you, well except renjun, cause you two fight all the time." renjun whacked his arms and jaemin let out a yelp, getting up and running to the kitchen. "i cannot believe i signed up for this. i also can't believe no one helped me." 

"renjun's scary when he's mad, we don't wanna mess with him, pick and choose your battles dummy." hyuck called out to him. jeno laughed and they watched as renjun and jaemin teased each other in the kitchen. "hey hyuck?" donghyuck looked away and nodded at jeno, smiling. "wanna give them some privacy and go cuddle on the bed?" he nodded quickly and jeno laughed again, leading them into the bedroom while jaemin stole a small kiss from renjun on his cheek.


End file.
